Mutant Monkeys from Mars! This Shit is Bananas…

What does SEO have to do with Mutant Monkeys from Mars? Or is someone trying to make a monkey out of you…

Mutant Monkey from Mars

This morning while dropping my wife off to work I heard a radio ad for an SEO company that made me feel like I had driven right into Planet of the Apes. It was directing listeners to go to Google and search for the phrase, “Mutant Monkeys from Mars” in order to find a landing page they had strategically crafted to showcase their SEO abilities and capture new leads.

More sales than SEO…

Unfortunately it’s more of a cheap parlor trick or gimmick than an example of quality SEO in action. Ranking for obscure search phrases like “Mutant Monkeys from Mars” that have no competition or search traffic is as easy as taking candy from a baby and as pointless as tits on a bull.

To show you just how easy this is to do we have created our own web page that targets the search term, “Unibrow Urchins from Uranus.” Just Google it to see how we have nabbed that coveted top spot with no special effort whatsoever. In fact you can do it too. Here’s how…

Obscure search term ranking technique

  1. Take a search phrase that no other web page has or is trying to rank for within Google (the more ridiculous and obscure the better. In fact I recommend making up words for best results).
  2. Create a new page and use this in the title tag, URL and H1 heading.
  3. Add some relevant content making sure to naturally sprinkle the phrase throughout the page several times.
  4. Add a relevant image, video or both (make sure the images filename includes the phrase as well as the alt tag).
  5. Wait for Google to index your new page and then search for your phrase in Google.
  6. Boom! Enjoy the satisfaction of having a top ranked page in Google for a phrase no one but you is trying to rank for.

If any of the steps or terms above are confusing check out this awesome resource covering all the on page optimisation essentials:

Mutant Monkey Pig Video Intermission

Unfortunately I couldn’t find a video of a Mutant Monkey from Mars but this was the next best thing…

Time to get this monkey off our backs

First of all kudos to this SEO company for thinking outside the box and putting together a creative offline marketing strategy aimed at expanding their lead pool. However the problem I have with these types of sales only strategies is:

1. They don’t prove the companies ability to rank a website for valuable and competitive keywords – The only way to really tell if an SEO provider is worth their salt is to check how well their own website ranks for competitive industry searches. Some good examples are, “SEO“, “SEO Auckland” and “SEO Company“.
2. They don’t educate business owners about the truths of SEO – In an industry full of cowboys, smoke and mirrors and constantly evolving Google algorithms it’s vital business owners do their homework before choosing an SEO company. You wouldn’t leave your kids or even goldfish in the care of a stranger you didn’t know or trust would you? Why would you leave the online success of your business to a company you hadn’t first checked out?

The Monkeys on Mars SEO company checklist

  1. Check how well they rank for their own competitive keywords.
  2. Take a look at their client testimonials and success stories. Do they have a proven track record?
  3. Get them to explain to you exactly what they do (if they squirm, refuse, or begin to sweat run for the hills).
  4. Do their strategies comply with Google’s best practices and ensure they stay ahead of the curve?
  5. How do they measure success and does it align with your goals and expectations?

In the interest of education and most importantly a desire to help people grow their businesses online through quality, current and transparent SEO strategies we have put together a comprehensive guide on how to choose the right SEO company for your business. Enjoy!

Related Resources:

You may have accidentally stumbled across this web page by mistake while looking for something closely related to “Mutant Monkeys from Mars!” Hopefully these links will help point you in the right direction:

Nathan Whitaker About the author

Nathan is the co-founder and Strategy Wizard at eMagic. He is responsible for the development and execution of our effective SEO strategies. He is passionate about search and delivering unrivalled results for our clients and industry partners.

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